I have a problem…
My problem is that I have been wanting to do an ultra marathon for a while now, dip my toes in and test the waters but the real problem is that I can not navigate to save myself, literally, and therefore I wouldn’t even really know what waters I was actually dipping my toes in!
I suppose you could call it an ‘ultra problem‘…
Now I know this may sound utterly pathetic to many, but I have absolutely no sense of direction. Zilch! It’s a special talent really and one that brings much amusement to both husband and son. My husband jokes, “Where would you be without me? No, really, where would you be?”; lost, I would be lost! I have found myself in situations of blind panic, scrambling to pull my mobile phone from bag to call my husband and say “I’m lost… again” just so he can talk me through it. There was the one time I was trying to make my way out of work, exhausted and unfamiliar with new surroundings my anxiety reared its ugly head. Panic stricken I searched for an ‘exit’ sign and as my anxiety grew I became completely disoriented, unable to locate said exit. I quickly called my husband, “calm down”, “take a breath”, I was in a hospital after all and pretty safe, then followed these words of wisdom, “now are you on the right floor?”, ‘the right floor!’, how stupid did he think I wa… ‘oh, wait..’
Get the picture?
Now imagine my disappointment when I began to research ultra marathons. Mandatory kit list no. 1: compass. COMPASS! I can’t work out which way is up a fair proportion of the time so how on earth am I going to follow a compass? I am used to relying on those comforting little ‘race this way’ signs and even then I struggle. During my first marathon I followed these signs and still headed in the completely wrong direction with spectators shouting at me “you’re going the wrong way!”, the shame. I swear the only reason I got round London Marathon was because I stayed in the middle of the herd, if it had been a zombie apocalypse I was screwed. So how on earth am I going to run an ultra or take part in an endurance event which requires orientation skills?
Robyn, grab your map babe, you’ve pulled!
To be continued…